I No Longer Praise My Resilience

Resilience: the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties. The ability to withstand or bounce back. The world often applauds resilience, holding it as a mark of strength and honor. But today, I no longer sing the praises of my own.

For much of my life, I wore my resilience like a badge of honor. I sought it, polished it, and displayed it proudly. Resilience became my identity, and praise was my reward. But what is praise? It’s an acknowledgment, an expression of approval, a declaration of value. And when it came to my resilience, I soaked up the praise to validate my strength. Yet, unknowingly, this praise became a double-edged sword.

The Trap of Praising Resilience

Praising resilience shaped me into someone who believed rest was weakness, asking for help was defeat, and leaning on others—even Spirit—was unnecessary. It encouraged me to press on, to keep going, to survive every storm no matter how hard the winds howled. While resilience is necessary at times, the constant glorification of it made me overly self-reliant.

I carried burdens that weren’t mine. I refused to pause, to grieve, or to process. Burnout wasn’t a risk—it became a reality. I had learned to thrive in chaos, to be the rock, but I neglected my own foundation. I didn’t rest. I didn’t lean. I didn’t trust that I could let go without everything falling apart.

My Adinkra Tattoos: A Testimony of Transformation

In my journey, I even marked my body with the Adinkra symbols Dwennimmen, Hye Wo Nhye, and Wawa Aba.

• Dwennimmen, the ram’s horns, symbolized humility and strength.
• Hye Wo Nhye, the fire that does not burn, represented resilience through hardship.
• Wawa Aba, the seed of the wawa tree, reminded me of hardiness and perseverance.

At the time, these tattoos were my trophies, tangible affirmations of my ability to withstand anything. But after years of turmoil and tribulation, I realized my resilience wasn’t bringing me peace. My strength wasn’t enough. I was breaking under the very weight I refused to put down.

In time, I added another symbol: Nyame Dua—the altar of God. This was my reminder that it wasn’t just me keeping myself afloat. It was God and my spiritual court. It was my ancestors, my guides, and the divine energy that had carried me when I thought I was walking alone.

Even with this reminder, I’ll admit I still struggle. I still want to shoulder the world by myself, to take pride in my independence, to lean on no one. But I’m learning—slowly—that I don’t have to.

The Dangers of Overvaluing Resilience

Praising resilience can lead to dangerous cycles:

1. Isolation – Believing you must handle everything alone.
2. Burnout – Running on empty until there’s nothing left.
3. Disconnect from Spirit – Forgetting that divine support exists.
4. Emotional Suppression – Ignoring feelings in favor of “strength.”

Resilience isn’t inherently bad. It’s necessary. But when it becomes the only virtue we value, we lose sight of balance. Strength without surrender is unsustainable.

Trusting God and Your Spiritual Court

If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s this: you don’t have to do it alone. You’re not alone. God and your spiritual court are always present, ready to bear the weight that feels too heavy for you. Trusting them is an act of faith, not failure.

I encourage you to release what you’ve been holding so tightly. Lay it on your altar, speak it to your ancestors, cry it to the heavens. Trust that they will carry it with you and for you. Trust that you were never meant to endure life on your own.

Let go of the need to prove your strength. Lean into the support that’s always been there. Rest. Rest in God. Rest in Spirit. Rest in the love and connection that surround you. You are resilient, yes—but you are also human. And that is more than enough.

 

Love, 

Hounsi Fredasi 

 

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